what do you do when you don't feel God?
what do you do when your guilt gets the better of you?
what do you do when you have no answers (but you're really okay with that because knowing the truth might really pull that Band-Aid off quick)?
what do you do when you're just plain angry?
what do you do when your good isn't good enough? (insert creepy dairy queen guy here.)
what do you do when God has said 'no'?
what do you do when you have no more oomph?
what do you do when you find yourself arguing with (...no. ...at) him?
i don't want to answer my semi - hypotheticals because i want to know what you would do.
so they're not so hypothetical, really.
i'm curious.
2 comments:
1. I feel discouraged and disconnected for a while, then I finally decide I don't want to live like that and I combat the discouragement with saying, "Okay, I don't feel Him right now. But I KNOW that I have before, and I KNOW that I will again. And above all of that, I KNOW He is with me ALWAYS. So discouragement, go to hell and stop bothering me in the Name of Jesus Christ."
2. I HATE guilt. Usually it's a friend who has to help me out of it, though, with some well placed "slap in the face" words. Such as, "Sarah. There's GRACE. You aren't immune to it or too big for it. Just take it already."
3. I rest in the fact that He knows and He also knows how to handle me--how to be gentle when I need it and how to be rough when I need it... and He knows which I need, as well.
4. I yell and listen to angry music, and I generally just go stomping around everywhere. Sometimes, like when I'm in my car and no one can hear, I scream and have an old fashioned tantrum. Some would say it doesn't do any good, but it does. It expresses what you need to express (if that's the way it needs to come out). Don't worry. God can handle it.
5. I rest in the fact that God doesn't call us to be perfect by using only our strength. If He did, Jesus wouldn't have had to come and die on the cross. It's HIS strength, not ours. And He knows we're made of dust.
6. Sometimes I get mad and complain. Sometimes I resist reality and try to make it happen by myself. But that always, always hurts badly. What I WANT to do is to do is respond with, "Okay. You know best, and I trust You," only when it's genuine, of course. Lying doesn't go very far with Him.
7. I cry and give up. Again, I'm glad He knows we're made of dust and doesn't expect us to do everything by our own strength. In our weakness, He is strong. That's some sort of comfort, at least.
8. Usually, after getting it out (usually through a tantrum of some sort), I quiet down once I've used up my energy. I LOVE that He's patient. He waits for me to become tired and completely worn out. Then He comes, oh so gently, and says, "My child, I love you. Don't worry--I know." These powerful words (He never uses empty ones) make me cry like a baby in His arms (because that's really what we are) and He comforts me as only a mother can comfort her child.
I love you, Karen. I'm praying extra peace over you right now as you go through this yuckiness. Don't worry. This won't last forever and you'll be all the more stronger and more intimate with your Father. I love you.
Hah. My comment was longer than your post! But thank you. I needed to process through all of this, too!
Post a Comment