Désolé, Lautrec.

but you're just not my style.

Community

"People can find the good in just about anything but themselves." Jeff from the new TV show Community has wisdom.

Had a conversation this afternoon with a friend about community. Over the years, as one grows up, you start seeing the cliques you were a part of, or not a part of, and how lame (or cool) they were. I feel like junior high and high school were made up of people groups embodied by the characters in The Office. That's as far as I'm going with that. [In that vein, I realized also that I've been in college for four years. That's as long as I was in high school. Weird! Anyhow.]

We're made up of misfits. And we need each other. More than we realize. But... I'm awfully scared of community. I don't want people to get in the way of my plans, know my secrets, or give me godly advice. It messes me up. "We would much rather live in the squalor that we do know than face the pang of change to make us better." Yeah, man. I don't want someone to know better than me. Oh humility, what a frustrating paradox you can be sometimes.
People are annoying.
People forget to do things.
People chew with their mouths open.
People get their noses into your business.
People like to sometimes talk about themselves.

Heck, so do I.

But I see that we're better together. As Jack Johnson so eloquently puts it. Jesus knows we're better together. That's probably why His father created more than one of us. And we're also better together when He's the center and we back out of the inner circle and watch what He can do with other broken pieces. He sees that our broken talents and agendas fit together to make some pretty cool communities to praise and love Jesus. And I'm okay with that. But who cares? It's not about me.



I have a love-hate relationship with this verse right now. Love is ...last? Hey, so let's start somewhere...

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Second Peter, 1/5-9

Hasty thoughts.

Blogging is the last thing I should be doing right now, but I don't really care. I need a break.

Kellie and Josh are getting married tomorrow. Holy crap. I know she's going to be a stunning bride and Josh is a CRAZY lucky guy. They're moving to Gonzales, Texas to begin a new life together. Kel and I have been friends since before preschool, even though I looked like a freak. Buck teeth will do that to a person. She knows more Scripture than anyone else I know and has the sweetest spirit ever. And sorry Kel, I still don't like country music :)
Friends. Friends come and friends go. What does this mean? It has no meaning, it just is. Just like "this is a true statement". I'm ready to not have to say goodbye anymore to anyone. Too bad that's not happening anywhere in the near future.

Future. What is the future? It's everything. It's now. It's ahead of when I typed that period. It's when I get married. It's when I have kids. It's when I have to go pee next. Or the next banana I eat. And it's all so excitingly surprising! WHENNNN will it all happen? Who knows?! We make plans, then the Spirit moves them, deletes them, shuffles them around a little bit (or a lot a bit) all the while, we live, breathe, call people, drink coffee, file papers, write papers, babysit kids, dislike songs on the radio, lose our keys, have road rage, sing songs in the shower, have meaningful conversations, move couches for people, pick our noses, read books, laugh at dumb jokes, get confused over math problems and why boys act the way they do... all the while the future is happening around us. And we help it to happen. Isn't that exciting?

Excitement. What does this mean? When our pulse races and our eyes get big? When we feel like we're worth a million bucks? The complete opposite how most people feel about school? Dude...not me. I'm excited again. I'm taking classes that will shape me in the future. I'm excited to be walking alongside college and high school students in their walks with the Lord. I'm excited to be dating a pretty cool guy who I wouldn't mind sharing the rest of my life with. I'm excited to be learning more about myself. I'm excited to get funny texts from people, to get kisses from Josh, to go to class now, to have conversations with my brother, to eat good things, to love different colors, to try to be who I really am. I don't act excited, though. In my heart, it's there.

Heart. It's inside of me. It's beating. Fast sometimes. Slow other times. I have a really slow heart rate. It's mine, but it doesn't belong to me. I'm blessed that mine works. That it's doing its job. My heart of hearts, though, is for my Creator. Everything I focus on is very me-centered. But to make things Christocentric, now that's another story. But He has created my heart. My reasons for getting excited. My future. My friends. My reason to live. My reason to look vertical and horizontal. To Him and to those whom He's made in the image of Himself. Look to Christ today. Look towards His unfailing love and insanely jealous nature. He wants the best for us and His ways are best.

"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, 'The LORD be exalted!' Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay."