How it happened.

The story.

(from my perspective)

Josh suggested a couple weeks ago that we take a day trip to the Bay Area in order to celebrate the end of the semester. I thought it would be a great idea to say the least. So…last Friday morning, we loaded up the car with jackets and snacks and headed off to Oakland. We stopped to have lunch at Little Shin-Shin, Josh’s favorite Chinese restaurant (by the way…it REALLY is worth the drive!). For some reason, Josh didn’t eat as much as he usually does…and I thought that was odd. From there we drove to the BART station and rode to Pier 39. It was beautiful and all decked out for Christmas! He and I spent hours just wandering around looking in all the shops and watching very mediocre street magicians. Josh had been to San Fran a couple weeks before with his parents, and he suggested we go ice skating that night and eat at Cheesecake Factory. I was just thankful to be away from Fresno, so anything sounded good. As we left Pier 39 on a trolley, I was busy taking pictures and Josh was on his iPhone. I didn’t think anything of it…since all day he was checking GPS trying to get us where we needed to go.

He then turned and asked me if I’d like to go get a drink before dinner. His mom had told us about a place where there’s a restaurant/bar at the top of a building. I said sure! Why not… so we got off the trolley and I had no idea how far/where it was. As we were walking, Josh told me that he needed to go to the bathroom, so he turned into a hotel and went to the concierge to ask where they were. I saw them up ahead, so I took off for them. When I came out of the bathroom, Josh still wasn’t out yet. That’s weird, I thought, usually he has to wait for me… he came out and turned to go get on an elevator. “Oh! Its…in this hotel? Cool!” There was a group of people in the elevator with us who got off before us. I saw that the top button (39) was pressed, as well as the 30th level. “Drat,” Josh said, “someone pressed the 30.” We stopped at 30, the doors opened and Josh got off. “But…it’s not this one?” “Yes it is..” he said… At this point, I’m still completely oblivious and start thinking “Maybe there’s a random restaurant on this floor…sounds good.” We go down a bunch of hallways, get to a door at the end of a hall and he pulls out a room key. “Where the heck did you get a room key?” He didn’t answer me, but he led me through the doorway and I stepped on rose petals as I did. I flippantly thought, “Oh! It’s just a low-lit restaurant?” Josh made a remark about his uncle calling in a favor and we just had the place for an hour or two. What?… I thought. The rose petals led to a sliding glass door and we walked onto a balcony where I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was a red table with candles, wine, chocolate covered strawberries and a GORGEOUS view of the city. The lights and colors were so much to take in that it took my breath away. I just wanted to stand and take pictures of the city…but Josh poured me a glass of wine and I sat and ate a strawberry…STILL completely oblivious to everything going on. [Plus, apparently Josh was crazy nervous, but I had NO idea.] He suggested that I open my Christmas present. He pulled out a huge wrapped box and I opened it…one wrapped box within the one before it. This was the point that I thought: “these boxes are getting smaller…this better be what I THINK it is…! And if it is…don’t look at Josh. You’ll start crying!” I get to the very last one and it’s a large jewelry box. Inside that is another one, but it’s empty, save for a note that says, “Look at me.” I look up, and he gets down on one knee and I start to cry! [I’m not a crier!] “Karen Grace Peters, it’s been three years and I would love it if you spend the rest of your life with me. Will you marry me?” With that, he put the ring on my hand and I said “yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!yes!...” we sat there and hugged for a while and I was completely overwhelmed. As he held me, I could feel that he was playing with his iPhone behind my back. “What the heck are you doing you crazy man…” “Wait…I have one more surprise for you. Trust me…” I turned around and all of our best friends came out onto the balcony…armed with huge smiles and cameras! Erin, Caitlin, Bree, Kara, Emily, Ben, Greg and Brett …I couldn’t believe it! Seriously…I haven’t been so overwhelmed as I was at that moment. We all toasted, took pictures, and I called my parents to say that I had a FIANCE! The boys went to go make reservations and us girls got all prettied up and we all went to a crazy nice restaurant called XYZ. There were things on the menu that we didn’t know the name of…but ordered them and had a great time! our waiter had just been engaged three months before so we got some champagne and some 1982 cognac. It was a beautiful time with friends…we went back and some of the girls went to get snacks and the guys got a cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. We spent the evening on the balcony eating and drinking and reminiscing about our friendships as we watched the fog roll in over the city. It was a most beautiful experience…and one I will never forget. The girls got the master room that night, the boys got an adjoining room and we crashed. I could hardly sleep that night, I was so excited! The next morning we relaxed, cleaned up and enjoyed muffins and throwing rose petals off the balcony. We then said goodbye to our friends and Josh and I spent the rest of the day in Oakland going to different jewelry marts.

What a crazy weekend! …Josh has a slightly different spin on how things went :) You might get to hear that soon...

I still cannot believe all the people who helped pull this off. You really got me...
And I get the best guy in the world! Thanks Jesus!

this doesn't change.

This much I know. Hearts hurting will continue. But they are always being healed. Sometimes we don't notice.

And it is always yours
But I am always yours

Hallelujah! I’m caving in
Hallelujah! I’m in love again
Hallelujah! I’m a wretched man
Hallelujah! Every breath is a second chance
These are the scars
Deep in your heart
This is the place you were born
This is the hole
Where most of your soul
Comes ripping out
From the places you’ve been torn

O.

Oh gosh. I have to learn math by next week!

Oh! The Lord is so good.

Oh brother.

O - I - E - I - E

Oh! Gravity.

Oh kids. 1:56. Hee.

Toadstools.

It's time.
So much has changed.
Instrumental folk is my drug. So is Mountain Dew.
There is so much to do.
Let's do house church again.
I miss it profusely.
So much made sense then.
I bought napkins with toadstools and penguins on them. [?]
Painting should become more of a priority.
I'm so ready.
Writing "2009" just got normal.
Figured out what I want to do with myself. It requires grad work.
Oft I venture outside and inhale the smells of Christmas: burning wood, wet pavement and orange trees.
This time of year makes me hyper-critical of service projects and people's motives.
Introspective moods around this time of year annoy me.
Let's be humbly thankful this year.
Taking things for granted isn't really an option.
Give give give give give give give give.

Etc.

Gray rainy day, down in the mud for us. Don't feel I can sing, songs to the God in control of the seasons. But what's good and bad, flow from the hands, of the God with the perfect plan. Filling us with joy, all of this will glorify.

Growing by subtraction.

Sometimes the wax around the candle needs to be heated a long time before the wick will take a flame.

Sometimes we have to be under the fire for a long time before the flame really affects us and we're able to be truly effective.


"Think how long a seed has to experience darkness before it truly grows..."

G'bye old friend.

Melancholic joy?

So I've been thinking a lot about depression. Don't get weirded out. Part of it was for a paper. I listened to a public radio program about the topic and the interviewer talked to Andrew Solomon, Parker Palmer and Anita Barrows about their views of depression from a stance of spirituality.
Something that Palmer said that is also quoted in one of his books struck me profoundly:


“I had embraced a form of Christian faith devoted less to the experience of God than the abstractions about God, a fact that now baffles me. How did so many disembodied concepts emerge from a tradition whose central commitment is to the Word become flesh?”


If part of our body wasn’t cared for, we’d notice. If we had an appendage missing, we’d notice. Likewise, I believe that if we only consider one aspect of a person’s body and fail to holistically take care of people in a spiritual way, we'd notice...and we aren’t being true Christians. As Jesus says in John, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
There are a lot of appendages that we overlook, accidentally and purposefully. This could be one of them. Good thing we have such a reconciling Father.

[Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.] Jeremiah 31/13

Just a thought.